


You Will Find Your Way Home

by Swanyu_Tales



Series: 15 Days Challenge Fics [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: 15DaysChallenge, Developing Friendship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eteri's A+ Coaching, F/M, Feelings Realization, Goodbyes, Self-Doubt, Self-Reflection, forced social isolation, hinted eating disorder, negative self image
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:05:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23168188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swanyu_Tales/pseuds/Swanyu_Tales
Summary: Nathan had always felt uneasy letting Evgenia go, and some reflections on their past meetings reveals why he felt this way.
Relationships: Nathan Chen & Evgenia Medvedeva, Nathan Chen/Evgenia Medvedeva
Series: 15 Days Challenge Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665412
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9





	You Will Find Your Way Home

**Author's Note:**

> So uh, hi again! It's been a while since I last posted, but I'm back! Theoretically with a lot more on the way, and hopefully of better quality. Anyway, this fic was an absolute nightmare to write, but I hope you find it enjoyable. It originally wasn't meant to be as sad as it ended up being, but I guess I just enjoy writing sad things. Thank you to ForeverDoesntExist for bringing this excellent pairing to my attention, I found it to work really well and I might just write some more of it. And of course, a huge thank you to K1mHeechu1 for looking this over for me, it really helps me feel comfortable enough to post certain works. I hope you enjoy!

"Well, I guess I'll see you next time! Goodbye!" Evgenia's bright and cheerful voice echoed in Nathan's mind long after they had both left.

"Bye Zhenya, I'll miss you!" His reply was meant to sound enthusiastic, but he couldn't help but feel sick at their parting.

Then again, from the very beginning, he had never felt good about saying goodbye and letting her go.

He thought back to the first time they met, back at the Junior Grand Prix Final in Japan. They had both won bronze in their respective fields. He was beyond elated at his progress, and she seemed happy enough. He admired her for being able to not only make it to the JGPF in her first international season as a junior but also podium there. They didn't get to properly talk, but given the way that her coach glared at anyone but her own students, he got the feeling that maybe it was for the best. Even then, however, he had found himself feeling unsettled by her goodbye. He couldn't put his finger on why though.

That same year they had also both ended up at Junior Worlds in Bulgaria, and both once again took bronze. He took the opportunity to congratulate her on her results when he noticed her coach wasn't focused on her. He wasn't sure how much of it she actually understood, but she smiled and mimicked what he said in an attempt to congratulate him in return. He remembered jokingly saying they must have been "bronze buddies" that season. She laughed, but he once again wasn't sure if his joke made it through the language barrier between them. She noticed Eteri heading back their way and hurriedly said goodbye before darting back to her coach. He still wasn't sure why he was unsettled by this at the time, seeing as Eteri was a well-respected coach, but when he looked back on it later, it made sense. He should have thought about it more at the time.

The next year at Junior Worlds, they met again. She had taken gold, and he had just missed the podium. He went to congratulate her, but she glanced over with a harsh edge to her gaze, stopping him before he could even say anything. Later she came over to him and apologized, explaining in broken English that she had been having a serious talk with her coach. He smiled and stated that he was sorry if he bothered her, but wanted to congratulate her. She smiled brightly but expressed sadness that they didn't both medal again. Their exchange was cut short by his coach looking for him, but his gaze lingered on her as she ran back to her own coach, who was glaring at him. He shuddered and went on his way.

They didn't see each other the following season, since he was still in juniors and she had moved up to seniors. He had avidly followed her skating online though, celebrating her successes from afar. He remembered his parents scolding him for staying up late to watch competitions when he would oversleep or get up looking like a zombie the next day. It was during this time that he realized how strongly he felt about her.

He moved up to seniors during the next season, and he was overjoyed to find that he would get to see her again for certain fairly early on. They met first at the Trophée de France, his first Grand Prix assignment of the season. Here she sought him out for the first time after a competition. Evgenia had definitely improved her English by this point, as she was able to more clearly communicate her words of encouragement, and more able to understand his words of congratulation. They chatted for a few minutes beyond what their now regular exchange usually entailed, but then she abruptly announced she had to go, said a quick goodbye, and speed-walked away. Her coach had been starting to head their way, but Evgenia had put a stop to it by heading back. He wondered how she knew they were being watched, since she had her back turned to Eteri.

Both of them made it to the Grand Prix Final that year. He watched her performances in wonder, stunned by the amount of grace and emotion she skated with. There was no doubt in his mind that she would win gold, and when she did, he cheered harder for her than anyone else. He only hoped that she cheered for him as well. They didn't get a chance to talk, but they waved to each other in passing as one or the other was preparing to leave the venue during the competition.

Then came time for Worlds, which turned out to be far more chaotic than he anticipated. Between boot problems, unsatisfactory results for him, and incredible results for her, he honestly didn't expect to get to talk with her. But on his way to his hotel room, they spotted each other and got to chat for quite a while. She paled when she noticed the time, however, and said a hasty goodbye, running to her room. At the time he assumed she had things she needed to do pretty early the next morning, but her reaction still didn't sit quite right. Before he had the chance to ponder it too much though, as her coach came up and introduced herself somewhat coldly. She told him that his performance had stood out to her because of the level of difficulty, and he humbly thanked her and praised her for her coaching success before heading back to his room. Nathan wondered if Eteri was always that close behind her students, but tried to shake the weird feeling he had about it. She was a world-renowned coach for a reason, wasn't she?

When the Olympic season started, he wasn't sure if they would get to really see each other. The tone seemed to be set at the Japan Open, where they barely even got to say hello, but then they found themselves chatting over a cup of coffee before the gala at the Rostelecom Cup. He could feel himself falling further the longer he spent with her. She was just so funny and charming, but she was also smart and not afraid to be blunt and brutally honest if she felt the need to be. She was so much more than what others saw on the ice; all other people saw was a brilliant girl soaring across the ice on her blades. He saw more of the real her though, and he knew there was no going back once he realized just how hard he had fallen. Soon though, their friendly chat was interrupted by her coach. Eteri smiled coldly at Nathan, and he shuddered at it while she communicated something to Evgenia in their native language.

Evgenia stood up and sighed. "Sorry to cut this short, but I should go start getting warmed up. It was nice to talk with you though!"

"I agree, I'll see you on the ice then." He waved at her retreating form before noticing the icy presence still near where she had been.

"Listen, I did not want to have to do this, but stay away from Evgenia this season," If looks could kill, Nathan would have been dead where he stood with the glare she aimed at him. "She needs to focus on the Olympics, and I won't have anything get in her way. You should be doing the same. Do not let me catch you two like this again, you will not like the consequences."

Before he could respond, she was already walking away. If Evgenia's goodbyes or her coach had left him unnerved in the past, it was certainly nothing compared to the dread that this filled him with. Eteri had seemingly threatened him for goodness sake! Unless something was lost in translation, Nathan was genuinely a little afraid for both Evgenia and himself. So, he did the only logical thing he could think of and went to talk to Raf. He explained the situation, including the threatening tone, but Raf just looked at him and said that she was probably right, and that they should focus more on skating than each other. Nathan wasn't really sure how to feel about this, but he decided to try to let it go.

As it turned out, he couldn't quite let it go. Staying away was made easy by the fact they didn't see each other again until the Olympics were upon them. Between those two points in time, however, he had mulled over their interactions and made some connections and conclusions that scared him, but he wasn't quite sure what to do about them. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he even could do anything about them.

Their time competing at the Olympics came and went, but all the while he was pondering if or how he should approach her. He desperately wanted to be near her, especially after she won silver. She tried to put on a brave face, but anyone could tell she was distraught by her results. He knew the competition was over, but the threatening words of her coach still echoed in his mind. It was only after all their time in the Olympic spotlight was over that they talked again.

There had been a knock on his door, late at night. The exhibition gala had taken place that day, and now the skaters were able to relax a bit more. He didn't understand why someone would be at his door at two o'clock in the morning, but he got up to answer it anyways. He ended up being very grateful that he did answer it. He found Evgenia outside his door, tears streaming down her face as her sobs shook her small frame violently.

"Oh my god, Evgenia are you okay? What's wrong?" He ushered her in and shut the door softly, so as not to wake anyone else up. He couldn't shake the thought that she shouldn't have been there, but he knew he needed to focus and help calm her down.

"It's over for me, everything I-I've worked for is gone. I'm too old to hope for a turning point now, and I can't make myself small enough to compete against the younger girls. Nathan, everything I've worked for is gone! Poof! I can already hear them calling for my retirement, but I don't want this to be the end! I don't want it to end like this, but I can't go on this way! She keeps pushing people away from me, my own mind, the scale, and my skates are all I can think about. I'm so tired of being lonely and pushing myself through injuries just to have people criticize me and what I'm doing. I know asking for more would be too much, but I don't know what to do. I-I don't want t-this to be the end-" She cut herself off, choking on her sobs.

There was only so much that words would do, so Nathan gave in and pulled her close to him in a gentle hug. Her sobs still echoed in his mind, and he could still feel the way her fingers dug into his shoulders and her tears dropped on his skin as she buried her face in his neck. His heart broke seeing her like this, seeing the strong, beautiful, and funny girl he had come to have feelings for crumble into a heap of tears and sorrows. Her words had been hugely concerning too, and put his prior conclusions about her situation to shame. She had been through so much, too much really.

"Evgenia, look at me," He pulled back slightly and cradled her face in his hands, soothingly stroking her cheek with his thumb, while also wiping away some of her tears. "You are one of the strongest people I know, even like this. This doesn't have to be the end of your career, but if you want my opinion, it does have to be the end of your current training situation. Everything you said about how you are being treated, and treating yourself actually, has thrown up enormous red flags. You can't do well if you aren't taking care of yourself, or being allowed to think that taking care of yourself is okay."

When she looked up at him, her eyes gleamed not only with her tears, but with tentative hope.

"I still have a chance to be great?" She murmured, voice strained from crying.

"You always have been, and you can continue to be. There isn't a doubt in my mind."

They had stayed there like that for a while, just enjoying the other's presence. Eventually, she got up to leave, but she seemed to be in far better shape as she left than she had been when she arrived. She bid him goodnight as she returned to her own hotel room. Despite their talk, he couldn't shake the image of her sobbing at his doorway, but he went to bed anyway.

Finally, back to the present, they were here at the Internationaux de France, in the post-Olympic season. At first, he had felt a pang of regret letting her go after their goodbye, apprehensive about letting her return back to her training base. But then he remembered, she wasn't going back to Eteri, she had left that awful place, and seemed to have no intention of going back. She was safe and in a healthy environment now. She had people watching out for her that genuinely cared about her, not the amount of praise she could bring them by association. Their goodbyes had always left him filled with concern or dread on her behalf in the past, but it didn't have to be that way anymore. She was safe now, and that wasn't going to change.

He could say goodbye without worrying for her now.


End file.
